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Smile for the Ed/Script
the gym, a camera is set up. The Kankers are first in line, Marie is adjusting her pants while her sisters are fighting over a bottle of perfume. Jimmy: the Kankers "Just a dash of haute couture for my school portrait, Sarah." cap comes off the perfume, and it spills all over Jimmy. Sarah struggles with her dress. Behind her, Rolf and Nazz sniff the disgusting perfume. Nazz: "Uh! Gross." tries to run out of the gym, but runs into Plank. Jonny: "Wow, Plank! You and Jimmy order clothes from the same catalog! How cool is that!" Jimmy: "I'm so generic! AAAAAHHH!" runs away screaming. Jonny takes his place in line. Eddy gets behind him, looking at his reflection in Jonny's shiny, bald head. Eddy: his smile in Jonny's head "Nah. Too game show host." smile "Off model." tries another smile, then is about to attempt another, when Jonny turns around. Jonny: "Did you forget to brush your teeth? Eddy?" turns Jonny's face forward again and continues to examine himself. Edd: "Perpetuating our vanity, are we?" Eddy: "Per-practicing for my school photo, Sockhead." turns back around and runs into a snail that Ed is holding out. Ed: the snail crawl over his head "I'm so pretty, oh so pretty." Edd: exasperated "Don't you think your parents would be a tad upset by a photo of you with a snail on your head?" kicks Ed into the ceiling. Eddy: "You're an idiot, Ed! Guess who's gettin to move into his cool big brother's bedroom. Here's a hint: ME!" Ed: "I win!" falls out of the ceiling. Edd: "Really?" Eddy: "Really! I'm in like flint, Sockhead. My mom just walked up to me and dangled this key right in front of me. I looked at her like, huh?" flashes back. ---- the memory, he's in his clothes, and the wall as undone, revealing the door. Eddy's mother is holding out the key to Eddy, which is the only thing in color. Eddy: "And then she's all like, 'You can move into your brother's bedroom if this year your school photo is nice for once, Eddy.' A perfect picture–" ---- Eddy: the real world "–and no more baby brother Eddy." Edd: "Well congratulations, Eddy! It seems your parents have finally recognized how you've grown since your brother's departure!" Eds bound into the gym. May is on a stool. The picture is taken. May is bodily hauled off the chair by Lee, who jumps into the seat. Lee: "Make sure you get my good side, bozo!" her hair to show an eye Marie: "I guess that rules out her face then!" picture is taken. Immediately after the shot. Lee rushes after her sisters, angry. Sarah takes a seat. She smiles sweetly for the time it takes to take the photo, then goes back to her usual grumpy self. Sarah: "This stupid dress is giving me a rash!" wearing a flour bag over his head, walks into the scene and sits on the chair. Rolf: "Rolf is ready to have his soul pilfered from his very eyes, yes?" picture is taken, and Rolf stumbles away. Nazz takes the stool, and all the boys gape in awe. Edd: enraptured "Ah, what a joy it would be to capture such beauty with my humble camera." picture is taken, and Nazz leaves. The boys go back to normal. Eddy: Jonny forward "Make it quick, cueball!" and Plank get their shot taken. Plank: Jonny: "Whaddya mean you think you blinked?" Eddy: "Time to score my bro's sweet pad." heads up to the stool proudly. He sits on it and straightens his clothes. When he sees the cameraman's finger tighten on the shutter, he turns around to ready himself. When he comes back, he is holding up a pennant reading "Go Mom" and wearing a button saying the same. He smiles widely. Suddenly Kevin pops out of nowhere. Kevin: "Dork." camera flashes. ---- looks up mournfully. He is in the music room as Edd takes out a xylophone. Eddy: "I can't give this to my mom! I look like I'm getting my temperature taken!" Edd: "Surely it isn't that bad, Eddy." shows him the photo. "Isn't your mother farsighted?" uses his tongue to grab the picture. Ed: "Aw, you look like an onion! Mom loves onions!" Eddy: "Oh, I'll give you an onion!" grabs the picture and slumps, unwilling to follow up on his threat. Ed opens his mouth for the onion. Eddy: despondent "Oh, I was so close. I could almost smell my brother's stuffed camel." door opens and the teacher walks in. All the kids ready their instruments, except Eddy, who groans and leans on his stand, despairing. Edd: Eddy a triangle "The teacher's watching us, Eddy." teacher starts a metronome, and the kids begin to play poorly. Edd: "You know, Eddy, I am in the photography club. I'll just retake your photo durning lunch." sits up and begins to smile. He plays the triangle with more aplomb. Eddy: "I like that. It'll be like this bunk photo never existed." walks over to Ed. "Hey Charlie-the-Furbrain-Parker, eat this." stuffs the photo in Ed's mouth. Ed: "Thanks Eddy." is chewing when the teacher points at him, indicating he should be playing his sax. Hurried, Ed fumbles with it and ends up blowing into the wrong end. The pressure builds, and the crumpled, wet paper shoots out of that end, landing on Kevin's drums. Kevin at first doesn't notice, but in a few seconds he sees that a wet paper is wrapped around one of his drumsticks. He spreads it out on a cymbal, revealing Eddy's face. Kevin: Nazz and Rolf "Psst. Get a load of prune face." spins the cymbal so that Nazz and Rolf can take a look at the horrible picture. Rolf: "Rolf has seen prunier." ---- is after class, and the kids are laughing in the hall. Eddy walks by, and they quiet down. Edd: a paper sticking out of his locker "Oh look. Perhaps the note is from our esteemed school faculty." takes out the paper and opens it. He quickly closes it. Eddy: "Ain't you supposed to be taking my school photo?" sheet falls out of Eddy's locker and lands on his face. Eddy picks it up and looks at it. It is his photo. Eddy: "MY PHOTO! Huh?" stares around the hall. Every locker has a copy. "They're all over the–" school bell rings. Eddy: "AAAH!" runs around the hall, snatching the pictures from the locker. He hears Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf laughing. Rolf: "Is a miracle, yes? Finally some Ed-boys merchandise?" points to his shirt; Eddy's picture is taped to it. Kevin: "If that ain't a fashion statement, I don't know what is!" Nazz: up her decorated binder "Say something funny about my binder, Kev!" Kevin: "Umm..." Eddy: "I knew it!" yanks the pictures from their hands. He runs past the copy room, where the machine is spitting out copies of something. He looks inside and sees that the copies are of his school photo. Panicked, he runs inside. Edd: "Eddy, wait. Perhaps we should–" hands him a huge pile of copies. Eddy: from more lockers "We gotta ditch these pronto!" Ed: "Pronto's my middle name!" comes back carrying the copier. "No wait, it's Horace." Eddy: papers in his locker "In here, Ed!" Edd: "I think I have a paper cut." drops the stack inside. Ed: up with the copier "Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep–" shoves him in. Edd: "But that photocopier's school property!" slams the locker. "Students use that!" locks the door. Eddy: desperate "If that photo ever gets out for my mom to see, I can kiss my brother's room goodbye! I bet there's more!" ---- enters the cafeteria. He stops. His face is plastered on all the walls. His faces turn towards him–the kids are now wearing his photo as a mask. Eddy: "It's a nightmare I tell ya!" has a nervous breakdown. The kids laugh. A masked Lee drags Eddy under a table. Lee: "Muaah! Stop kissing yourself. Muaah! Stop kissing yourself. Muaah! Stop kissing yourself. Muaah! Stop kissing yourself. Muaah! Stop kissing yourself." Eddy: the other kids laugh of him "HELP ME!" and Edd slam the doors. Edd's vision settles on a loudspeaker. ---- has rigged up a complicated system to hack the speaker. Edd: "I think we may be able to save Eddy's proverbial bacon, yes." taps the mike. "Ahem. Good afternoon, students. Of Peach Creek Jr. High. This is your principal speaking, with a very important–um–announcment. Very good. Ahem. All copies of student Eddy's school photograph are to be returned to him immediately. Failure to comply will warrant detention for everyone. For the rest of the semester. Thank you." Kevin: "Bummer." and the other disapointed kids leave Eddy: happy "You heard the man!" the hall, Edd gets rid of the hack and immediately goes into a state of shock. Edd: "Did I just do that? I did, didn't I! I just impersonated the principal! Made false declarations in his name! Oh, what have I done!" Eddy: "Woohoo! the cafeteria pushing a fridgeful of copies ''Get this, guys! The principal just made everybody give back all the copies of my bunk photo! ''Edd up Me! him in the photos headfirst What a sap! into the fridge Put your helmet on, Sockhead! We got a picture to take! up Ed My brother's room is in the bag!" shoves Ed under the fridge and he lifts it up Ed: "Not in the house, Eddy?" runs off with the load ---- is in the photography room. He checks his camera. Edd: "Drats! Due to yesterday's photography assignment, I'm afraid I only have one last exposure left on this film." Eddy: "Whatever. One-shot Eddy's my middle name." Ed: "MAKEUP!" slams a chalkboard eraser into Eddy's face. Edd: "How very helpful, Ed." readies his camera. Eddy poses. In the hall, his locker starts to buckle; the copier machine has printed out too many copies. Edd: "Ready on 3. One...two..." Kevin: "Three!" holds Eddy's ruined photo in front of the lens just as Edd takes the shot. Kevin: "Oops. Forgot one." laughs and backs out of the room. watches as the new photo slides out. He gives it to Eddy wordlessly. Eddy: broken "He did it again, Double D!" photos are exact matches. Eddy's locker door buckles far outwards. The school begins to swell with the amount of paper. Suddenly, the locker explodes, and copies of the photograph fall all around the school and take up the space inside. ---- photos lie on the ground. Edd picks them up and tucks them into a trash bag. Ed: up a notepad "Look Double D! A picture for Eddy, see? He's getting the key to his brother's room, and it's made of potato salad!" Edd: "Aw, Ed, what a lovely gesture! Although maybe you should give it to him when he's not so upset." drops a full bag from an upper-story window into the dumpster, which has a mountain of bags already inside. The bag tumbles down the mountain and lands on Edd. Eddy climbs down. Eddy: "Talk about adding insect to injury. Two hours of stinkin cleanup, plus a week's worth of detention for impersonating the principal." unhappy "I don't even remember doing that!" Edd: "Really? A whole week? Gracious. Um...Ed has something for you, Eddy!" Ed: over "Do I ever. It's a key!" rips the page out and tears it up. Behind it sits another drawing, this one of Eddy holding a key. Eddy: "Hey, I ain't pullin a stupid face in this picture! This'll work for my school photo! Big bro's room, here I come!" darts off, carrying the crayon drawing in his hand. Edd: "I'm flabbergasted, Ed! He seriously thinks he can appease his mother with a crayon drawing in lieu of a school photo! I mean, the lines are all wiggly!" Ed: "Can I draw your school photo, Double D?" Edd: "Thank you, Ed, but I'm–" Ed: "MAKEUP!" Edd: "NO WAIT–" eraser slams into Edd's face. Ed steps forward and stands in front of the dust cloud raised. Ed: "Self-portrait!" hits himself in the face with the eraser. Category:Season 5 Category:Season 5 Scripts